The scary recap

I got married three years ago. It was a marriage full of struggles—emotional, mental, and sometimes even spiritual. Those closest to me have witnessed what I went through. My parents had been urging me to get married for a long time, and eventually, I gave in.

After a few rejections—some from the girls' side, some from mine—I chose someone. But I made the decision in haste. I didn’t want to waste more time searching or waiting. I thought it was practical. I thought it would be enough. But I realize now: some decisions, especially lifelong ones, deserve patience, not urgency.

Back then, I convinced myself it would be a happy marriage. I misjudged her. Or maybe, I misjudged myself. Even before the wedding, I had several gut feelings, signals from my sixth sense that told me to pause—to reconsider. But I silenced them. I didn’t want to be the one who backed out, who delayed, who disappointed others.

Now, I find myself often saying, “Maybe this was prewritten. Maybe this is what destiny had planned.” It’s the only way I can console myself. Life has moved forward, but not easily. There have been endless sacrifices, painful compromises, and nights I’ve spent wondering how I got here. Sometimes survival has felt like the only goal.

But in all this darkness, there's one light: my daughter.

Maybe she is the reason I keep going. I don’t want to be a bad father to her. I don’t want her to grow up seeing resentment in her parents’ eyes. I want her to know what love feels like, even if her parents are still learning how to show it. For her, I’m willing to give up everything—even my pride, even my pain. She deserves a version of me that’s strong and steady, even if I’m still building that person day by day.

I’m still learning to balance my temper with my wife's. I’m still learning what it means to forgive. And in all of this, I’ve begun to understand my father better. I think of him often now. I think of what he endured silently. I remember my mother’s words: “One day, you will understand what I’m saying—maybe not now, but when you grow older.”

That day has come. I understand now. I am thankful to her for everything. Even if she was wrong in some cases but her intentions was never wrong.

This is my scary recap—not because it’s filled with horror, but because it's filled with the darkest time I ever sould see. And truth is the hardest thing to face.